Love and Vengeance
by ThisLittleDeath
Summary: Dodge clutched the newspaper declaring Alice Liddell's wedding, before diving into the Pool of Tears, where a battle between the love he thought dead and his undying vengeance rages anew. Takes place during Book 1. Dodges POV. One Shot.


**Takes place in Book 1 - right before Dodge jumps into the Pool of Tears to bring Alyss back to Wonderland. These are his thoughts and experiences.**

**I do not own Looking Glass Wars.**

**Please Review**

**Enjoy~**

**~TLD  
**

* * *

Dodge Anders stood at the cliff's edge, overlooking the steep drop into the Pool of Tears below. Though he knew that countless Wonderlanders had flocked to the pool over the years to loose their own tears into its salty abyss, crying for the loved ones they'd lost to it and whom they would never see again, he'd never seen another person on its banks. Whenever he'd come, he'd been the only person around. And yet, standing in view of the Pool of Tears, he'd always felt a sort of kinship with them, the mourners. For the ones he'd lost had been spirited away from him too, erasing any hope of seeing them again, and leaving only crushing blackness, an emptiness almost too painful to bear, in its place.

As he'd done many times before, he looked into the fathomless depths and ached for her. At least he'd seen to his father's grave. It was small and nothing compared to what he truly deserved, but at least he'd been able to do that much for the man who'd raised him, who'd given him life.

But what of the girl who'd given his life so much joy? What of Alyss? For years he'd stared into the Pool of Tears, imagining the chance to just see her once again. He couldn't imagine her bright, joyous face rendered still in the cold pallor of death, and even if his imagination could conjure such an unthinkable image, his heart wouldn't have been able to bear it. So he imagined the monument he'd erect in her honor. She needed a resting place. If not… well, without one she would always be this roving spirit, always out of reach, always eluding him. He couldn't bring her back. And the pain of not even being able to know her final resting place made her death always new, slicing into him with new vigor every time he thought of her.

So he'd come to the Pool of Tears to watch the ebb and flow of a nation's woe, to bask in that woe, for his constant anger, his constant sadness, his constant mourning of his beloved was the only part of her that he had left.

But this time was different.

He stood over the edge, warily eyeing the descent, with a soggy, crumpled newspaper gripped in his hand. The fearless, reckless man that had just that day challenged fate and Redd's finest fighters in a suicidal race through the Crystal Continuum, felt an inkling of fear as he prepared to jump. He wasn't afraid of the jump. Or of the haphazard jaunt into a new and alien world. No.

Breathing deeply to keep himself from imagining what she might look like, or wondering what she would think of him, or from feeling an uncalled-for tingling of jealousy, or from feeling any number of other emotions that had suddenly broken free of his control, Dodge reminded himself of his duty, of his mission, and of his revenge.

_Wonderland needs her,_ he commanded himself, hardening his heart against what could only mean more heartache. And, thinking of The Cat, he added, _I need her_._ My vengeance needs her._ With venomous thoughts of revenge, Dodge plummeted into the Pool of Tears.

By sheer luck or the hand of fate, Dodge erupted out of a puddle only streets away from Kensington Palace. Luckily for him, the street was nearly empty, darkened in the evening twilight. A nearby carriage horse whinnied when he popped out of the street, but other than that, his entrance went entirely unnoticed.

Stalking the streets like a wraith, he soon found himself facing the palace. _Beautiful in comparison_, he thought to himself, noting the drab colors of this new world, and remembering – with difficulty – the glimmering streets and buildings of Wonderland under Queen Genevieve's reign. _But nothing compared to Heart Palace_, he thought. His face curled into a sardonic grin. _Well, what Heart Palace used to look like_.

Avoiding guards and dogs, guns, turrets and fences guarding the perimeter of the palace, Dodge found himself clinging to the windowsill of an upper window, gazing down into the festivities like an over-sized bird. The interior of the ballroom was ablaze with light, chandeliers and candles flickering in candelabras all over the room. The polished floors and gilded ceilings glittered in the candlelight and dancing figures swept across the floor as if their feet never touched the ground. Straining his eyes, Dodge tried to pick out Alyss among the glittering masses. But through the windowpane, he could make out little more than shapes, colors, and forms.

Mixed with both annoyance and intrigue, he decided he'd have to go in to get a better look. His eyes caught a smaller window off to his right, and, with a swing of his body, landed lightly on the sill. He'd chosen wisely. This smaller window led to an upstairs room off to the side of the palace. With a little manhandling, the window swung open and Dodge fell lightly into what appeared to a servant's quarters. He was nearly dry from his trip through the Pool of Tears, but he borrowed a towel from the room, straightened his guard uniform – or that is to say, whatever was left of his guard uniform – and pushed his half-dry hair from his eyes. When he deemed himself mostly presentable, he slipped quietly out of the room, down the hall, and through one of the side corridors into the large, elegant ballroom, hiding himself in a darkened corner where he could get view of the proceedings without being in full view of the guests.

Sweeping his eyes across the hall, he cursed himself. _It's a masquerade! _He thought. This thought irked him for two reasons. First of all, with everyone in costume, how was he supposed to find Princess Alyss? And, secondly, and more pressingly, he, being the only person without a mask would stick out no matter how well he tried to camouflage himself in a darkened corner. _Dammit_, he thought.

But just then, two things happened in rapid succession.

First, the couples standing in front of his hiding place moved slightly to their left, giving him a full view of the dance floor, where, with an immediacy that shocked him, he recognized her. Despite her mask, and despite the fact that he hadn't seen her in thirteen years, the moment Dodge saw her swirling black hair and her slim, graceful form, twirling in the arms of her decidedly less graceful dance partner, he knew her. Unbidden, his heart leaped in his chest, his breathing halted as if he'd been punched in the gut. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, and it took all the willpower he'd honed over the past thirteen years to keep him from weeping at the sight of her. _Alyss,_ he thought, tenderly, _my Alyss._

But as the song ended, Dodge felt the spell breaking. The man twirling her was not simply her dance partner, but her fiancé, a prince in this world. Familiar pangs of jealousy stabbed him. Pangs that he hadn't felt since he was boy and his father would remind him that he could never marry the princess. She had to marry someone of noble birth. Dodge gritted his teeth against yet another irony. Even in this world, he was out-classed in his love of Princess Alyss.

He scolded himself for his soft-hearted reminiscence and returned his mind to the duty at hand. _I must speak with Alyss_.

Just then his wish was granted, as Prince Leopold withdrew from his beloved and laid his mask gently on a nearby table. Without a second thought, Dodge slipped into the fray and placed Leopold's artistic oil-painted mask over his own battled-scarred face.

His breathing raced as he moved carefully through the crowds, waiting in silence at the edge of Alyss' vision for her to turn and see him properly. When she didn't, he approached her, reaching out his hand – as he'd reached for her countless times in his imagination – with mounting fear, and tapped her gently on her shoulder.

She turned with unconscious grace, and, though her masked face held no expression, the feel of her glow directed at him was nearly enough to knock him off his feet.

His duty forgotten, he tipped his head to his princess and held out his hand to her, inviting her to dance. Without hesitation, she laid her small, soft hand upon his strong, battled-calloused hand, and Dodge marveled at the warmth of her touch.

"Already?" she asked, "But what about the Queen?"

Her voice was musical, though – he had to admit – it bore the somewhat dulled inflection of this drab world. It was as if she'd learned to cloak her bright, musical voice in dullness, and only partially succeeded. Dodge wasn't the least bit surprised that she'd drawn the attention of royalty in this world – Alyss had always shone brighter than any Wonderlander, and here – well, to these people her light shone like a nimbus in the darkness.

With innate grace and the practice of countless dances they'd shared as little children, Dodge Anders spun Alyss around the floor – listening to her body's every moment, anticipating her every step, shifting his weight this way and that, and guiding her body with the gentle touch of his hands, so that Alyss felt as though she were flying across the floor. They moved as one, seeming to know the other's movements before they made it, following the beating of their hearts as if they alone marked the beat of the dance. With unsurpassed tenderness, Dodge lowered Alyss into a final dip, their masked faces only inches apart.

The sound of scattered applause broke Dodge from his trance. Righting himself, he lifted Princess Alyss to her feet, taking a small step back from her, danced with her in a more conventional, less intimate way.

"You're not Leopold," Alyss laughed. Her musical laughter sent shockwaves through him as he remembered the last time he'd heard her laugh. His reminiscence temporarily blocked out all else, and suddenly he was jerked back to reality when Alyss' face came closer to his, her voice becoming slightly concerned.

"Who is hiding behind that mask?" she asked, her voice tentative.

Just then, Dodge was thinking just about the same thing. _She sounds the same… is she… could she be…" _Dodge tried to wrap his head around the woman that appeared so different from the girl he knew and yet seemed so much the same. But he had little time to puzzle it out, even if he could have, because just then, Alyss' hand was reaching to remove his mask.

He felt a sudden urge to run. Too unsure of himself and of this partially alien creature in front of him, Dodge felt an unfamiliar tug – to retreat. But, mastering his will, he stilled himself, and felt the mask lifted from his face.

Dodge saw Alyss' eyes narrow in confusion behind her mask.

"Do I know you?" she asked, her voice soft – as if she were speaking to a dream or a memory.

The feeling of having her speak to him was almost overwhelming, but he controlled his voice and answered, just as softly, "You knew me once."

He stared deeply into her eyes, willing her to remember him, before turning his head slightly so that she could see the four parallel scars on his right cheek. Her eyes widened in surprise and recognition.

"But…" she gasped, and stopped dancing.

In the corner of his senses, Dodge felt the prince hurrying to Alyss' side, felt the turning tide of the guests, and knew his time with the princess was over. In subtle move, he was gone from sight, and was walking alone down a deserted alley before anyone had even begun to search for the strange man who had danced with and startled the prince's intended.

As Dodge sauntered down the alley, hunched against the rain that had started to pour, he replayed his dance with Alyss. In that last moment, when she'd realized who he was, Dodge caught a quick look into her eyes, which betrayed first awe, then pain, and then confusion and fear. She remembered him; that was for sure. But, as he trudged through the filthy streets, facing his first failure to bring the princess home, he wondered if he'd gained anything through his efforts – or just added new painful memories of the girl he'd lost once only to continually lose again and again.

He found a small shelter off one of the smaller streets and curled up out of sight of passersby and out of the dripping rain. Once nestled in his foul-smelling, cold, dank shelter, he pulled the crumpled newspaper Hatter had given him from his pocket.

**ALICE IN WONDERLAND WEDS**

**Lewis Carroll's Muse Alice Liddell to Marry Prince Leopold**

Dodge scanned the rest of the article. The wedding date was set. And, judging by the date stated for the masquerade ball… Alyss' wedding was to take place the next morning.

Alyss' wedding… Dodge let the words swirl through his brain. They didn't make sense. He tried to figure out if they seemed alien because for thirteen years he'd believed his beloved to be dead… or if it was because Alyss was to be wed to… to someone else.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. _This is absurd_, he scolded himself. Closing his eyes against his failure, against the confusing roil of emotions this mission had conjured up in him, and against the dead weight that always kept him from sleeping – his guilt, his sadness, and his unfulfilled vengeance, Dodge slept.

He awoke to the sound of raised voices, to the hustle and bustle of a crowded city street, and to a numb sensation that had settled itself over his heart. He knew what he had to do. He had to bring Princess Alyss back to Wonderland. Not for himself, not even simply for his vengeance, but for the safety and security of an entire nation.

Even so, he didn't know how to do it. To rip the girl from the arms of her intended husband before the wedding might give the jealous part of his heart some sick pleasure, but then, he imagined the Alyss' face contorted in agony. Could he inflict the crushing agony he felt everyday, the never-ending emptiness that accompanies losing the one you love, on _her_? He gritted his teeth, his brow crumpling in pain. _No_.

_But then what? _A voice in his head seemed to ask. _She has to come back_. _Would you wait until after she's married? Steal her from the arms of her new husband?_

Dodge growled aloud, his fists balling in anger. Too angry to remain seated, he left his hiding place and prowled the city – heading the general direction of the church, hoping a suitable plan would present itself to him.

As he walked through the busy streets, the simple, drab people going about their simple, drab business, nowhere among the storefronts and homes, carriages and passersby did he see the trappings of war, the evidence of destruction, the expressions of fear and distrust that littered the streets of Wondertropolis. _Well, _he thought_, it's a rather dull-looking place, but it certainly seems safer than home_.

Thoughts of home consumed his mind with another problem. In this world, Alyss could be the wife of a prince, protected by guards and palaces, and far, far away from Redd's wrath. But, if she went back...

Dodge froze, suddenly aware of where his thoughts were headed.

_To bring Alyss home means to put her in horrible danger. Danger she might not survive._

_But here_… his thoughts drifted off.

Could he return to Wonderland, never to see his beloved again? Could he let down Bibwit, Hatter, and all the other Alyssians by failing to return with their only hope of redemption? If it meant Alyss could be safe?

He didn't know.

His need for vengeance, for justice, for Redd's and The Cat's blood on his hands, warred with his love for his soft, warm princess. He'd known when he was younger that Alyss would grow into a strong, powerful, warrior queen, but when he'd held her slim, graceful body as she flitted across the dance floor, and when he'd seen her scared, confused face when he'd shown her his scars, she hadn't look like a warrior. Just a beautiful, innocent girl. Could he choose vengeance if it meant sacrificing her?

He didn't know.

And if he left her here in peace, could he live – for however shortly – knowing that it was Hatter's and Bibwit's and General Doppelganger's and however many countless others' blood on _his_ hands when they all succumbed to whatever horrible deaths Redd had in store for them? Could he sacrifice all of Wonderland for the girl he loved?

He growled aloud. _No matter what I do, I'm damned regardless!_ Dodge thought angrily. And so, as he'd learned to do over thirteen years, he pushed it all away – thoughts, feelings, memories, hopes, dreams, abstract concepts like honor and duty, love and friendship, and focused on the only thing that had kept him going, the only impulse driving him to survive every day. Vengeance.

As he surfaced from his thoughts, he heard a distant growling. For a split second, he thought he had growled again in annoyance, but, as awareness of his surroundings started to filter in, he recognized not only the growling, but also the far-off sounds of screaming. An itching of recognition stabbed him, and he suddenly knew the originator of that growl, and if he was here… That could not bode well for him _or_ the princess.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he looked properly around himself – somehow his feet had taken him to the church – the site of Alyss' wedding – without him knowing it. Slinking around guards and slipping into the back of the church, Dodge hid himself under the heavy shadow of the balcony, peering through the crowds to try and glimpse the hidden princess, while still calculating escape routes, possible entrances for Redd's assassin, and praying that he'd get a chance to get to the princess before he did.

The waiting was painful, but Dodge forced himself to focus on the moment rather than on the location and on the fact that he was – in essence – a _guest_ at Alyss' wedding.

_Focus_, he commanded himself. _You are NOT here to claim Alyss for your own_.

_Ok_, a little voice in his head answered, _Then what's the plan? Why ARE you here?_

Before he could come up with an answer for himself, the music changed subtly and everyone stood in their pews, straining over their neighbors to be the first to see the glowing form of Alice Liddell, wife-to-be of Prince Leopold.

Dodge restrained himself, but rose with the others. He couldn't see her march to the altar, so he stared at her intended. He was a man of average height and build – not hideous, but not particularly handsome, Dodge thought – trying to remain clinical. But as he watched, the man's face broke into a smile, his dull aura flaring up as he watched the approach of his intended. _She has that effect on people_, Dodge thought. He sighed heavily. _He loves her. But how could he not?_

Finally, he saw her. She stepped up onto the raised alter platform, and Dodge gasped. It was the first time he'd seen her face since she was seven. Her beautiful black hair was pulled off her face and hung in graceful waves. Her slim body was highlighted in the soft, white folds of her wedding gown. Her skin was a study of pure unblemished alabaster, and, although, her couldn't see the whole of her face – she stared only at her prince – he imagined the bright sparkle of her sweet, happy eyes.

His eyes darted back and forth between the couple. Leopold glowed, every once of him brimming with the happiness that formed a huge smile on his face. Even as he held her hands, his body was poised as if desperate to throw his arms around her.

Alyss, however. She was fluid in stillness, but she did not smile. She didn't frown or grimace, but it was the practiced smile of a monarch – Dodge noticed with pride and interest – it was politely interested, but gave nothing away. It seemed enough to appease her husband, however. _How could he not know?_ Dodge smiled to himself. Without meaning to, he learned something new of his princess, she was responsible, she was strong, she was polite – she'd learned restraint.

Had he had time to think about it, he would have marveled at how much Alyss had matured since he'd last seen her. As it was, he didn't have the time.

Suddenly, he felt it – the nerves of a seasoned warrior warning him, Dodge stood – preparing for the eminent attack. His eyes ranged the church, searching for the entrance point as he subtly moved around the outside of the church, maneuvering his way closer to Alyss. At one point, his eyes alighted on Alyss and, he could've sworn, she looked just as tense as he, as if she could feel that something was amiss.

And then, with the force of a battering ram, the stained glass windows lining the church walls burst in under the weight of Redd's card soldiers and her top assassin, The Cat.

Dodge moved with all the speed he possessed, but in the chaos, the wedding guests had jumped up from their seats and were now storming for the exits, trampling other guests in their haste to save themselves. Dodge barreled through the aisles, pushing and shoving any who got in his way. Finally freed, only a handful of feet from Princess Alyss, Dodge looked up to see a vision he only thought he'd see in his nightmares.

The Cat barreling down on Princess Alyss, frozen in her fear, her body only a paw swipe away from becoming The Cat's next kill.

Instinct took over, and in a second he was rushing past guards and Alyss' intended husband, grabbing the frozen princess's hand and pulling her at breakneck speed out of the church and down the cobblestone alleyways. Now wasn't the time for confessions, for greetings, for thoughts or worries or regrets. Faster, they ran.

Knowing now that Alyss would never be safe so long as Redd and The Cat lived, Dodge pulled her to the portal to Wonderland – his body aching for the battle he left unfinished with The Cat, his heart breaking anew with the never-to-be love for his princess, and his mind spinning with the suddenly-released, conflicting feelings he'd squashed down for thirteen years.

And so, as he'd done for thirteen years, Dodge buried his feelings, and, gaining clarity through action, erased all thought. Princess in hand, he jumped into the puddle portal to Wonderland – and into the unknown future ahead of them


End file.
